Sometimes you lose your shit. You lose your cool. (When you feel you are being tested and retested again and again).
Consider this pic of some cookies in a ziploc bag. Notice how crunched and crumbly some of them look? That’s the result of my being fed up and taking it out on the cookie package!!
I instantaneously felt embarrassed because as hard as I was trying to hold it together, that silly cookie package had the nerve to not only rip itself all crazy but it also wouldn’t release the cookies into the bag! Ugh! Plus my adult daughter was witnessing the whole messy thing as cookies went flying all over the kitchen and I attempted, still, to look and act cool about those things that had triggered me earlier in the day.
You see, the day had been a challenge for me. I had a minor-major financial setback. I had made a mistake at my job and scared a poor woman half to death. (Luckily it wasn’t something that would disrupt or end her life because I did catch the mistake). I was tired because working + chronic fatigue is often challenge enough. It was just a less than good day!
And all day I had held myself together. I was taking deep breaths. I was tapping (yes, physically tapping) and stretching to help relieve tension. Yes, at the moment of my break, I did break pretty hard. Poor cookies.
So, to the strong and resilient out there: do you ever just “lose” it? Do you get mad and act a bit out of character for a brief moment? Have you flung anything across a room or just face-palmed a pillow and screamed into it?
My opinion is that sometimes things will come to a head and rupture. Sometimes you need the release, whether it be in the form of an emotional outburst or collapsing into bed and crying a while, because I think that’s the humanity of the whole ordeal. We have to let it out.
Please seek medical/mental health attention if you have issues with rage and frequent outbursts. There are people trained and in place to help you sort things out. Don’t be ashamed to reach out to them because they’re ready and willing to help.